Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Your Options

Tomorrow the new War of the Worlds movie directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Scientology go-to boy Tom Cruise opens all over the universe. I'm sure by now you've heard about Tom Cruise's appearance on the Today Show where he assured the country that he knows things.

I'm not quite sure what he knows - besides how to talk Katie Holmes into a fake relationship or maybe how to make muffins - but I'm glad he knows something.

I know that Tom should have kept his Scientology addiction out of the spotlight. I also know that I don't want you to go see that movie tomorrow. Cruise is a good actor, but he crossed the line when he called psychology a pseudo-science.

Here's what to do instead!

See the other 2005 version of War of the Worlds! That's right, starring C. Thomas Howell and Rhett Giles! I had no idea this even existed - but you can bet your butt they didn't have a Dianetics tent on the set. It's available on DVD now - no waiting for a commentary bloated double disc from Spielberg featuring the exclusive featurette, "Attack of the Thetans."

Rent the 1953 version of War of the Worlds with Gene Barry and Ann Robinson. I used to have this movie on tape and watch it all the time. See a 50's ho-down! Gasp at real rubber aliens! Fear the post-production added green rays! Vaporized Priest!

Read the original War of the Worlds book. Yes! Those hard things with the paper inside them. Get a great deal at amazon. It's simply an added bonus that while reading your feet won't stick to the floor and that you won't be forced to see a doctor about the raisinette in your eye due to a sudden candy fight in the theater. Plus, it's $4.99 - way less than a movie ticket.

That book too easy to read? Try the book in French, smarty-pants.

Three words: Herbie - Fully Loaded


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