News from the F*ckbag

I had nothing to write tonight. On my way home from work, my ears turning a bright crimson (thank you very much blinding freezing wind), I thought to myself, "Self, you pitiful excuse for a blogger, you've nothing to write about."

It's amazing what a few moments on the internet can do. (Thank you Boing Boing). Outsports has a list of 1,121 words and phrases banned from personalized jerseys at NFL.com. Many of them are understandable; some, well, attention must be paid.

Warning: Some of the language below is quite ... colorful.

A.S.S.
What is the Associate Secretary to Scotland to do?

ANAL ANNIE
*scratches head* Is this some sort of position of which I'm not aware?

ANAL BAGGER
Only allowable if you can prove that you work at a meat shop specializing in rump roasts.

ASS PUPPIES
Well, all dogs seem to be interested in them, it follows that puppies would be, too.

BAZONGAS
Must be Spanish

BREAST JOB
What if you want to get one for your favorite enhanced woman?

CLAM DIGGER
But those were the pants I was going to wear with the jersey!

CREAMY
heh. creamy.

CUM BUBBLE
Is this even possible? Is a straw involved?

DAHMER
The NFL maintains that this is in poor taste.

DEEP THROAT
Well, we know he's not dead. What a great way to reveal his identity!

DICK FART
Again, is a straw involved here?

DRUNK
They can't even be descriptive?

F TOYOTA
Apparently the NFL prefers you buy domestic.

FUCK BAG
Is this what you use when you can't use the Toyota?

GENITAL
Good thing they banned this, all the bad-ass street kids are scrawling "Genital" on their clothing.

GLAZED DONUT
D'oh!

HOMO BANGERS
I think saw this in a personals ad once!

JESUS CHRIST
This is blatant discrimination against latinos with coincidental names.

LUCKY CAMEL TOE
C'mon ladies, you know you all wish for love on your lucky camel toe.

NO SEX
A blow (ha!) to the celibacy movement.

QUEEF
Ha!

SHITFORBRAINS
What will Paris Hilton wear?

SNATCH PATCH
Can you grow snatch in your garden patch?

SPERM HERDER
Hee'YA! Getalong!

TOILET BOWL
Isn't that being played in Tampa next year?

TRISEXUAL
Stop showing off.

Your Cheese: What word would you ban? Not just from a jersey, but from use by the human race?