The Day After

My election thoughts - typed up in the early hours of November 3rd - the day after the Presidential Election were posted to Salon.com and Air America Radio. I was being absolutely honest when I wrote them. (I wish Appreciate the Cheese had been around then - it would have helped the 'ol hit counter ...)

Honestly, this is the only time I'll be able to quote myself:

I see a lot of sad faces and feel a lot of angry emotions coming from Democrats/liberals . There's no reason for this. Here are some things to be happy about:

It’s OVER. I know, not the way we wanted it to be over—, but it's over. Praise the Lord. No chads, no recounts, no Supreme Court decision, no Florida hicks bitching on TV.

Nixon. We got through that one; we’ll get through this one.

Feel free to watch Fox News and think to yourself, “Gosh, eventually, all these people will be dead. Dead, dead, dead.”

There will continue to be a steady stream of material for “The Daily Show.”

Bush will propose things we hate. We’ll fight them. He’ll propose Supreme Court justices we hate. We’ll fight them. He still won’t have a grasp on the English language. We'll snicker.

Only two years until we take back the Senate.

The new domestic and international policies and laws you are dreaming of haven’t vanished. It’s not a matter of “if” it's a matter of when. This is a short-term setback for some very large and time-consuming improvements we are making in society.

Know that Ohio will get exactly what it has coming to it.

Remember, we're the good guys! Feel free to act and feel morally and ethically superior to conservatives. We're right, they're wrong. Tell people you're liberal and proud! It’s time to free the “L” word from conservative propaganda. Forward, not backwards! Advance, not retreat! Modern, not retro!

Obama!

The universe has come back into balance now that Rudy Giuliani has returned from a temporary state of "America’s greatest hero ever — a beacon of light in an otherwise darkened universe" to his normal state of "asshole."

You can join the ACLU or the Human Rights Campaign or another charity of your choice. Whoever you select, make sure Bill O'Reilly has called them “a bunch of pinheads” and you’'ll know you're on track.

As is tradition, Ann Coulter must now return to her ancient home on Mount Olympus and return to her life as “Festerpus,” the Godess of Crazy Bitches.

Read Salon, listen to NPR, read the New York Times and be damn proud of it! More Liberal Media Bias, I say! You down with the L - M - B? Yeah, you know me!

Four more years to witness Dick Cheney morph into Skelator. They're building Castle GreySkull in DC as we speak! Honest!

Election? Man, that’'s so Tuesday. Welcome to Wednesday!

There is one that they edited out.

Hurricanes.

I see why they did.