Friday, August 25, 2006

Da Plane! Da Plane!

More squishy goodness from

Eva tried South Beach, Atkins and the Grapefruit and Tea diet, but she couldn't resist the temptation known as the cheese counter.

Truck vs. Plane. Who would you bet on?

In his later - digitally altered - years, E.T. wouldn't even look at a bike for transportation.

VASP knew he shouldn't have had beans for lunch.

"Move it." "No, YOU move it." "No, YOU MOVE IT." "EHH" "EHHHHH" *SHOVE* *SHOVE*


Thursday, August 24, 2006

Getting High

Have you been checking out the cool photos at
I'm a plane freak - I love to watch them, and so these pictures are great.

Whenever I'm flying in and out of Washington, I'll do my damnnest to fly in and out of DC National Airport. It's partly because I don't own a car, and National is really close. The other main reason ...

Who wouldn't want to fly in and out of this airport?!

Let's look at other pictures ...

Yay! for Eastern Air Lines! The first Airline I ever flew on. Always such shiny planes, too. Nice.

Linda later realized that serving drinks and hiking up her skirt was getting her nothing but paper cuts on the U.S. Mail Express. (Cool square windows, though.)

After heckling the large airplane for hours (FATTY! FATTY!), Bill went out alone to check it one more time, and was never heard from again. (CHOMP!)

747 Apply Directly to the Forehead
747 Apply Directly to the Forehead
747 Apply Directly to the Forehead

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


Just to save you time and money:

Yoplait Fat Free Banana Cream Pie Yogurt tastes nothing like Banana Cream Pie.

I guess "Gooey, Vaguley Lemon Flavored, consistency of Snot" didn't fit on the package.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

WOOT! is an ingenious website that offers one product for sale per day - typically at a very good price.

Sometimes, rarely, Woot holds a "woot-off" where they offer product after product after product - showing the next one one when the first has sold out. It's totally addictive.

That's why I now own a Dirt Devil Cordless Mop n' Vac.

Woot helps you remember all the products you always really really wanted, but forgot about. Hmmmm... that frog shaped water alarm looks promising...

Monday, August 14, 2006

Tips for the Traveler

Enjoy the SuperShuttle trip from your apartment to the Baltimore/Washington Airport that occurs about an hour after some security guy in England announces a huge terror plot which causes security folks at every airport in America to go into a tizzy. This will be the most relaxing part of your day.

If you're going to travel on the day that liquids, gels and fun lip gloss is banned from carry-on luggage, and are flying out of Baltimore/Washington airport (BWI), fly Delta. Because Delta flies approximately two flights out of BWI per year, and their security area is small. Plus, the lady at security compliments your new green sneakers.

Don't fly Southwest. Ever. For any reason. Especially not on crazy non-liquid, non-gels, anti-lip gloss days when Southwest security lines stretch farther than you can see and when you ask a woman "is this the line for Delta?" she gets all snippy and snaps "NO, this is the SECURITY line." Not my fault you had to save 17 dollars buy flying an airline with 847 departures per minute so you could buy those ugly pants at Marshall's to wear in Orlando.


Don't fly on this plane. Window seat patrons on this tiny plane have to sit at an angle or constantly smack their heads into the window.

When traveling, continue to despise Mel Gibson.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

what's that smell?

Don't get me wrong. I'm so far to the left of the political spectrum that I can't wear white shirts. My heart bleeds through. Sometimes, for fun, I run up and down the street screaming TAX AND SPEND! TAX AND SPEND!

But this Connecticut thing - Senator Leiberman vs. Lamont - has gotten out of control. I used to read several "lefty" blogs daily - daily kos, Americablog - but no more. The blogs want to claim a win for Lamont SO badly, they want to prove the worth and the strength of the "netroots" SO badly that their reporting has done something horrible.

Their blogs began to bore the shit out of me. If you were to limit your reading to those blogs - God forbid - you'd think Lieberman was a bumbling Republican candidate, who stands for everything unAmerican and whose volunteers are nothing but paid mercenaries. He has no supporters - he has to pay everyone off, and oh, also, he's responsible for gas prices rising, the Iran-Contra Affair and Clay Aiken being gay.

So, I'm done with those blogs. Like any responsible American I'll make up my own mind and vote my own conscience. And I'll stay entertained with that delightful Cute Overload blog.

Look at that puppy!

Monday, August 07, 2006

They were next to the solar flashlight

This is sad.

A Sex Pistols coaster set: Because you know how much Sid Vicious hated water rings next to the huge piles of heroin on his coffee table. I first spotted these for sale at Tower Records when I was in L.A.

Now, I'm not a huge fan of the Sex Pistols, never was, really. But it struck me that in order for me to see them - they had to pass through several levels, each more sad than the rest.

First, a coaster company had to think "wow! those kids today! so hard-core and concerned with etiquette ... hmmm ... I know! Sex Pistols Coasters!"

Then, I'm assuming someone from the Sex Pistols, or their representatives, received the offer of money in exchange for the rights to produce and sell "Sex Pistols Coasters." Someone agreed.

Then, someone at Tower Records had to see these in a catalog and agree to buy a whole bunch to place on sale in their stores. Each person in this chain had to agree it was a good idea. I hope they were all paid very well.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

something wicked this way ...

One unintended, really really fun aspect of having your groceries delivered on the hottest day of the year ... DRY ICE!!!




Wednesday, August 02, 2006


It's hot here in the Nation's Capital. Not hot like that adorable new Superman Brandon Routh - hot like walking into a blast furnace every time you leave the house. Sweat is supposed to be your friend - it cools you down and prevents your body from bursting into flame while running around, but it's not so good when you're walking to work and, look, another shirt ruined.

To be frank, some things are fun when DC has temperatures higher than Stevie Nicks' age (temperatures over 110). It's actually a bit refreshing to leave the air conditioning and walk into that heat - the power of nature is amazing. Of course, after walking for about twenty seconds in the heat, that power becomes a pain in the ass.

You see all sorts of people out in the heat. Mostly lowly commuters like myself that find themselves trapped. They're OK people, but don't touch them, they're sweaty.

Then there are people that sit in Dupont Circle, in the heat, just for fun (not homeless). Locally, they're known as ... "Idiots." Try to remember that one.

There are those that are in air conditioned cars, and decide to make a left turn as quick as possible at the corner, even if it means cutting off pedestrians caught in the heat and caught in the traffic. Locally, they're known as ... "assholes." Most of the time, you can also call them "Virginians," but that isn't always true.

There's also a cadre of messengers, police and others traveling on a bike for their livelihood. There's a special place in heaven for them, and it includes iced drinks.

Then. Naturally. The Runners. Those that value fitness above all - and can be seen traveling at great speeds, in the outdoors, when it is 98 degrees outside, sweat pouring off their bodies. Locally, they're known as "heart attack victims."

That ambulance better not make a quick left turn.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Four Legs Good, This Movie Bad

This is the worst remake of Animal Farm I've ever seen.