Friday, April 15, 2005

And It Keeps them Warm on Grates!

From the GAP press release:
We here at GAP are happy to announce our new line of "Broken-In"TM shirts. They join our acclaimed lines of clothing including "Worn-Ripe"TM jeans, "Ripped-Frayed"TM skirts and "Eww-What-Is-That-Stain"TM underwear.

We realize how little time the modern consumer has to properly make a shirt comfortable, and we also realize how few of our consumers want to own clothes that look new. (How Square!)

That's why we hand out new 100% fine cotton shirts to homeless people around the New York City and Washington, D.C. area. Our "homies"TM are happy to break in these shirts - and we're sure they love showing off their new GAP style.

Because we are committed to happiness the world over, we are always sure to get our "homies"TM blind drunk on GAP brand fortified wineTM before ripping the shirts from their bodies and whisking them off to our over 800 outlets worldwide.
OK. That's a lie.TM

I bought four.

More lies!

[Not a lie: Photo taken my yours truly - with my for-shit camera phone - at the 2000 Pennsylvania Avenue GAP. The security guard looked at me funny when I burst out laughing in the shirt section.]


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