A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, CookieMonster!

Almost everyone that blogs these days relies on a lot of snarky humor to help get their point across. (guilty!)

However, not all readers understand the humor within their words. People take things the wrong way, become insulted, and write angry letters to the editors. (They're returned, because there are no editors.)

We have punctuation for the end of a thought (the period), and to designate a question (?) or exclamation (!)- but nothing in our language helps us to identify humor.

Someone needs to do something about this. I've decided to be that someone. From now on, when trying to convey humor, for the sake of the humor-impaired, please use CookieMonster.

For instance, here is an example from Wonkette.com:

Jenna Bush always reminds us of Bigfoot. You know, shy, retiring, just wants to be able to butt-dance in public without a bunch of nosy tabloid voyeurs shoving colonscopes up her ass?

What on earth do they mean? What's going on here? Is that funny? Is that from a White House press release? Does Dan Rather have something to do with this? Who's touching my leg? Now, read the "cookified" one:

Jenna Bush always reminds us of Bigfoot. You know, shy, retiring, just wants to be able to butt-dance in public without a bunch of nosy tabloid voyeurs shoving colonscopes up her ass?

See the critical difference? No confusion!

We'll need a way to know when people are using the cookie monster when speaking. For the end of a sentence, a period is hinted by lowering your inflection. You raise your inflection for a question mark. For a CookieMonster you simply say the last few words of the sentence like CookieMonster.

I realize that because of the power and reach of my blog, including millions of daily readers, this new punctuation will only take a few hours to be fully implemented.