Its not hard - just watch what your doing

Those with good grammar skills can skip today's entry. I'm never preachy, and I'm never opinionated (stop laughing), but please, for the love of God, listen to me!

1. Learn to use "your" vs. "you're." Repeat your sentence in your head - move your lips if you have to - and replace the "your" with the words "you are." If the sentence still makes sense then you need to use "you're.". It's the contraction of "you are." Examples include "You're a beautiful person, but death still awaits." and "Why are you kicking my skins? You're making them all bloody." "Your" is used for possession. Like "I threw the kidneys in your beady-eyed face," and "Under my breath, I silently cursed your awful sense of direction."

I think that's the most quotation marks I've ever used in a paragraph.

2. Learn to use "its" vs. "it's." This one is going to throw you for a loop! Repeat your sentence in your head again - think of it as a fun game! - and replace the "its" with the words "it is." If the sentence still makes sense, then you need to use "it's." It's [<-- see!] the contraction of "it is." "Its" is used for posession. Yes, yes, i know, typically the ' is used for possession, but listen up! It isn't in this case. "Its" is used for posession, like "The gas spread to my bedroom, and I tried to run from its caustic, skin-eating fumes." and "The sheep was pissing me off, so I removed its spleen."

It's not pretentious. It's a pet-peeve.